


Pekoyama's Diary

by Leonidas1754



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Diary Reading, F/M, Fluff, Pining, Souda being a dumbass, break ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 16:56:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10035155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonidas1754/pseuds/Leonidas1754
Summary: The story of a seemingly hopeless crush, as told through the pages of Pekoyama's diary.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my fics that I reposted that got a MASSIVE rewrite, as in most of the content was fleshed out and it has an entirely different ending now.  
> I should really sleep.

_Dear Diary,_ I have a problem, and his name is Souda Kazuichi.

My problem isn’t with him, per say. More with the fact that he keeps chasing Sonia around like a stray dog. Sure, she’s a princess, and very pleasant. She's almost, well... Perfect. I have nothing against her, really, nothing personal at the very least. Nothing but Souda that is. I suppose I understand why he's so set on her. After all, like I said, she's perfect.

He does like me well enough. I come around where he works on projects sometimes and we'll talk. It’s cute, in a way, how he can start rambling about mechanical things so easily. Most of the terminology I don’t understand, but I’ve picked up enough to sort of follow whatever he’s explaining, and it's nice to just sit back and let him talk. I guess it's something he doesn't get to do often.

One time, we laid under a car while he pointed out different parts and explained them a bit. I got a bit of oil on my clothes and in my hair, but I probably could have reached out and held his hand if I’d had the courage.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ he really is attractive, if not in a conventional way.

I know his neon clothes and wild pink hair throws others off, and at first glance he almost seems like some sort of thug, but we’ve all learned he’s almost exactly the opposite. He’s actually very sweet, if a bit rough around the edges and on the misguided side (one reason, apparently, Sonia isn't the slightest bit interested in him). He's sweet and kind and a loyal friend, and I don't mind that he's loud (both visually and vocally) or that he's a bit dense. I’ve watched him mature over this year we've spent in school together and fell for him, not even realizing until it was too late.

I think I’m in over my head.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ I can’t stop thinking about him.

Specifically, I can’t stop thinking about kissing him. I’m glad no one else can read this. I mean… his lips look really soft, and I know most would try to stay away from those teeth, but it just makes me even more interested. I kinda wonder what he tastes like. I probably sound like a loon, but if I ever got the chance, I would kiss him. I wonder if he'd blush. I've seen him blush before, it's pretty cute. It makes me want to hold him and never let go.

(Unfortunately, those times I saw him blushing were related to Sonia, so I doubt he'd appreciate the sentiment)

Now, I know I’m in over my head.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Hinata and Kuwata confronted me today.

They figured out I had a crush on Souda and offered to help, but I told them not to. After all, Kuwata was just dumped rather harshly and Hinata is in a dilemma about his own romantic feelings right now. I must say I have a bit of sympathy for Komaeda; he’s had a crush on Hinata since our first year. At least he has a chance of his feelings being returned. Maybe I'll try talking to Hinata about his feelings and see if I can coax him to give Komaeda a chance. I want my classmates to be happy. So far, though, it seems Hinata isn't quite sure who he likes, if anyone at all, and poor Kuwata's just had his heart broken so many times, I advise he simply put his romantic endeavors to the side for the moment. He's a good guy, and he'll find the right girl for him, I'm sure.

Souda and I are friends, at least, and I can be happy with that. The time we spend together is nice, even if it isn't quite what I'd like it to be.

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_ Souda cried after finding out that Sonia is now dating Gundam.

I know it's selfish, but I actually felt a bit relieved. Maybe, just maybe, he'll finally get it into his thick skull that Sonia simply isn't interested in him. I adore him, but sometimes I'd just like to take one of Kuwata's bats and beat him over the head with it. Maybe then, he could finally see just how much he means to me. I doubt it would work, though. He's almost as stubborn as ~~the Young Master~~ Kuzuryuu.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ only ~~the Young Master~~ Kuzuryuu, Kuwata, and Hinata know of my feelings for Souda, but I think others may suspect.

I'd rather they not know, though I suppose it's becoming more obvious. The two of us have been spending more time together as of late, probably because he's been avoiding being around Sonia and Gundam, mostly because of Gundam. I do feel a bit bad for them both, but more so for Gundam. He's tried on multiple occasions to make friends with Souda, in his own way, but Souda is so focused on seeing him as a rival for Sonia's love that the idea of friendship had never occurred to him. Unfortunately, it was Souda who was never a contender in the first place. It's not even that there's anything wrong with him, though I'm sure he'd take it that way. It's just that he's not Sonia's type.

You know, I've never really thought of myself as having a type. Probably because I hadn't really considered any sort of notion of being in love with someone before. Of course, I'm not in love with Souda, that'd be silly, but I certainly have a strong crush on him.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Hinata says he's been talking about me more than usual.

I've noticed as well that he’s been glancing at me in classes and waving to me much more often in the halls. When I stop by his work space, he’ll stop whatever he’s doing and just talk to me. I always have his full attention, too, unless there's something urgent that happens. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing, but… maybe he’s starting to return my feelings? I'm not sure how else to explain his suddenly rising attention. If it's not that, then I'm not sure what in the world is driving him to spend more time focused on me.

I really hope he's starting to like me back. I'm trying my best not to get my hopes up, but I can't help it. It's like dangling a treat in front of one of Gundam's hamsters.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Sonia and Gundam broke up.

They haven't said much about it. Apparently they're not sure if it will really work out, what with Sonia being a princess and all. It's understandable, after all, if they stay together after school and want something other than a long-distance relationship, he'd have to go to her country, and after that, if things truly went through, there's a lot more to it than simply dating a girl, in Sonia's case.

Souda was surprisingly calm about it. I feel bad for this, but part of me expected him to be happy about the break up. He's just been supportive, or at least, he's tried to be. He's not very good at it though, taunting Gundam for not knowing what he was getting into and telling Sonia that he's sure if this doesn't work out, she'll find someone perfect for her. I'm pretty sure he's trying to be genuinely supportive at least, instead of trying to move in himself or something. Or maybe I'm just imagining the best in him because of my own feelings. I suppose I'll have to wait and see.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Souda and Sonia went out on a date today.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ I hate it when he talks about her.

I don't understand why Sonia is suddenly so interested in him. She never wanted to be around him before and now they're spending so much time together, I hardly see him without HER, even in his work space. I can never spend time with him anymore, and apparently I'm not the only one. Hinata and Kuwata say they hardly get to spend time with him anymore, and when they do, most of the time he's talking about Sonia. It's like we've suddenly reverted to our first year.

Maybe I was wrong about him. Maybe he really did use Sonia and Gundam's break up as an opportunity to sweep her off her feet. I thought I knew him better than that, but apparently not. Kuzuryuu is angry at Souda for breaking my heart, but I won't let him do anything to Souda. After all, Souda has no idea about my feelings. As far as he can tell, we're just friends, and that's all I ever felt for him, friendship. It's my own fault for not telling him or even making any moves.

I saw them kiss today, in the hall before class. I didn’t know heartbreak would hurt physically as well as emotionally.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ I  hate Souda Kazuichi.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Sonia dumped Souda today.

Souda won't say why, but according to Sonia, he was simply too clingy. I suppose I can see why, he'd certainly been determined to spend as much time with her as he could. Some people don't like that kind of attention, and I can't blame her for it. I feel absolutely selfish, but in a way, it's a relief. Maybe now, he'll go back to being the Souda I know, the Souda that spends time with me and Hinata and Kuwata and our other friends, the Souda that will take breaks from what he's working on when I show up and really talk to me. It's a bit selfish, I know, but I haven't even been able to spend time with him the entire time he's been dating Sonia.

He did apologize for that, at least, for blowing off his friends. Hinata just shook his head and warned him not to do it again, while Kuwata said maybe his own issue was the opposite of Souda's, to try to cheer him up. It took Souda a while to stop crying, but the four of us watched some cheesy movies and ate sweets. Well, mostly Souda ate sweets. It seemed to work at least.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ it’s been a week and he still cries over her sometimes.

I'm not great at comforting people, but I'm trying. Sometimes he'll just cry, and sometimes he'll try to figure out what he could have done better. Thankfully, he doesn't expect me to help or really say anything, just listen, though even that is still a bit painful. I want to tell him, but I should wait until he gets over Sonia. Then again, isn't that what I've been waiting on for all this time..? Well, this time, he was given a chance and he failed, so maybe, just maybe, he'll finally get it.

I can always dream, right?

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ Kuzuryuu is getting tired of me just standing by.

He threatened Souda today, saying he’d better stop being so stupid. Souda doesn’t know what’s going on. Of course he doesn't. He's certainly oblivious, he's always been that way. It can be humorous most times, though in this case it's painful, for myself and everyone else who knows about my feelings for Souda. I know I'm just stalling now, but I'm scared. After all, maybe he could accept my feelings, maybe he could return them and we could go out, or maybe he could completely reject me. I doubt he would try to be hurtful or anything, but Kuzuryuu would probably get angry at him anyways. He cares a lot about me and my happiness, and I appreciate it, but I'd rather handle this on my own, at least, until the confession, if that ever happens. If I need comfort, there's no one else I'd go to.

* * *

 

 _Dear Diary,_ today at lunch, I ate with Souda, Kuwata, and Hinata.

Hinata, to my and Souda's surprise, suggested the two of us go on a date. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but my heart leaped at the idea. Souda just laughed it off, saying I’d probably never want to go out with him. He's so oblivious it's almost painful. Kuwata looked like he simply wanted to smack him upside the head, while Hinata seemed simply exasperated. It's nice to know I have them on my side, at least, even if they can't get through to him. They're good friends.

Maybe one day I’ll get over Souda.

I still want to kiss him.

* * *

Trembling hands slowly closed the small burgundy journal. Souda swallowed thickly, placing it back down on the desk. He'd only meant to find who it belonged to, but he'd seen his own name and curiosity got the better of him. And now he knew, and he wanted to smack himself, because now that he knew it was so _oblivious_  and he'd been an idiot for not noticing. All the times Pekoyama had come to see him, trying to learn mechanical stuff so she could understand what he was saying, the gifts on holidays and offering to teach him kendo in return for him teaching her about mechanics, how she'd acted when he'd dated Sonia, it all made sense now.

Souda groaned, pressing his palms to his eyes. He had to make this up to her. Figuring out his own feelings had been hell, going back and forth with Kuwata and Hinata and second-guessing himself and disbelieving the idea that he'd ever had an even remote chance with her. Now he knew she had felt the same all this time, even before having feelings for her was even an idea in the back of his mind.

He picked up the journal again and stuck it in his bag. He'd return it to Pekoyama, and then, he would do everything in his power to make up for all of his stupidity. He pulled out his phone and started a group text with Hinata and Kuwata.

S: _guys i need your help_

K:  _what's up man_

H:  _If this is some crazy scheme to get Sonia back, I'm out_

S:  _nah_

S: _more like making up for all my stupidity_

H: _Oh boy, what did you do now..._

K: _need me to come bail you out?_

S: _i was an idiot and i finally realized it_

S: _and now im gonna make up to peko for all of it_

K: _holy shit are you_

K: _count me in_

H: _It's about time. So what's the plan?_

Souda was glad he had friends like Kuwata and Hinata. Unfortunately, he wasn't sure they would be able to stop Pekoyama or Kuzuryuu from flaying him alive once they found out he read Pekoyama's journal. Shivering, he stood tall and walked quicker. He just had to hope his plan would make up for it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I may write a second part to this, of what Souda does. Happy endings and all that.  
> As always, please comment, they give me life and motivation to write more.


End file.
